Glimmers vs. Triggers: Training Your Nervous System to Notice Safety

Most people can quickly rattle off a list of their triggers.

A tone of voice.

Conflict.

Feeling ignored.

Uncertainty.

But ask the same people or person their glimmers, and they might look at you blankly.

Far fewer people are aware of their glimmers- the small moments when the nervous system registers calm and safety or stability.  

This imbalance is not a personal failure.  It’s how the brain adapts to trauma.

When someone has lived through chronic stress or relational trauma, the nervous system becomes highly efficient at detecting danger.  Over time, the system may overlook or even distrust cues of safety.

Healing often involves gently re training this pattern. 

A trigger is anything that signals potential threat to the nervous system-whether or not actual danger is present.

Triggers can activate:

-Anxiety or panic

-Shutdown or dissociation

-Emotional overwhelm

-The “Brain goes blank” response many people experience during conflict.

These responses are protective.  They are the nervous system’s attempt to help you survive.

The problem is not that triggers exist, its that the system may become over-focused on them.

A Glimmer is the opposite of a trigger.

As Deb Dana describes, “Glimmers are the opposite of triggers. They are small moments when our biology is in a place of connection or regulation.”

Glimmers are often subtle:

-Warm sunlight

-A kind facial expression or smile

-a calming song

-a moment of feeling understood.

-a sense of accomplishment after completing something small. 

Most people naturally experience glimmers- but many don’t notice them.

And when we don’t notice something, we don’t wire into the nervous system.

Trauma impacts not only how we think, but how the body and nervous system respond to the world.

As Bessel van der Kolk explains, trauma is stored in the body and expressed through physiological states- not just memories. 

When the nervous system has learned to prioritize threat detection, healing is not just about the processing trauma- it is also about increasing the system’s capacity to recognize safety.

This is where glimmers become powerful. 

Glimmers do not eliminate triggers but they help create state flexibility.

A Simple Practice to Tracking Glimmers:

Try this once per day:

Step 1: Ask yourself:

What felt even slightly calming, stable, pleasant or grounding today?

Step 2: Pause for 10-20 seconds while thinking about it.

This pause matters.  It allows the nervous system- not just the thinking brain- to register the experience.

Step 3: Write it Down.

Over time, this builds a personalized “glimmer map”.

Noticing glimmers is not about forced positivity.

It’s about expanding nervous system awareness.

As Janina Fisher emphasizes, many trauma responses are adaptive survival strategies rather than pathology. 

Both triggers and glimmers can exist at the same time.

Healing involves making space for both.

If your brain quickly finds what feels unsafe, that likely developed for a good reason. 

But, through neuroplasticity, your system can also learn to notice what feels safe.

Often, healing begins in moments that are small but repeated.

If you are interested in learning more about nervous system regulation, dissociation and trauma recovery, you can follow along for future posts or explore coaching opportunities designed to support this work. 

This content is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for therapy.

References:

Dana, D. (2021). Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory.

van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score

Fisher, J. (2017) Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors.